How Michael Bug Will Change The World: I am a jerk

It's time to face the inevitable: I am a jerk. I think about myself way too much! I'm not sure when it happened, but one day, I went from being not too terribly selfish, to being downright nasty. I find myself thinking things like, "No one else has days like mine" or "No one else really understands what it's like." What a joke! Millions of people not only get it, but have it a million times worse! Can I really be this lame? It's time for a reality check, lady!
I have an amazing husband who works his ass off so I can stay home and enjoy every minute with my boys. I have two beautiful boys whom I adore more than I thought possible! I live in one of the most beautiful places in the world. I have great friends who are supportive and would help me any time I needed it. I have so much, too much to list. And I am grateful, really I am! But, when my three yr old is being sassy and defiant and it's barely light out, it's hard to keep it in perspective. But, I'm going to try harder. Come up with a thankful mantra or something, so when I'm in the trenches, I can say it, and come back to center.
One thing that always helps is a smile from Michael. This kid is so amazing! This last few weeks, he has hit so many milestones! He got his first tooth, he pulled to stand, he got his first haircut, and yesterday, he cruised a couple steps! I swear, he will be walking in the next couple months if we work hard enough! I am so proud of my little bug!!! In fact, he is doing so well, it's hard to even believe he has DS. I mean, I KNOW he does, but, he's keeping up so well, I keep wondering when the ball is gonna drop. When is it really going to hit me? Will I be the selfish jerk I seem to have been of late? Or will I be cool? Will I just roll with it? Or...will I even notice? Maybe the ball has dropped and I am just so in love with my Michael, that I don't see it?

Can you blame me? Look at that little angel! He is perfect.

Maybe I am delusional. Kidding myself? Dave says he will never go to college, that when my friends tell me their kids didn't walk until they were 13, 14, 15 months old...they are just trying to make me feel better. Can that be true? Why would they try to make me feel better? I know he has DS. I know there will be delays, so why would I need consoling? I feel like he's kicking butt! He is developing on the typical spectrum...maybe on the low end, but still. See? Is that deluding myself? Dave says everyone has said words by one yr, that I just don't remember Auggy as a baby, but I do! Auggy was so advanced, talking early, walking by 10 months. How do I know if I'm just being crazy? Or does it even matter? Maybe all that matters is that I am proud of my little guy. I don't compare him to typical kids, but I want to treat him like one. I don't want to coddle him and just say, "well, he has DS, so he just can't do....." I want him to do anything he wants to do!

Maybe I am being selfish, I want him to be the most badass DS kid there is, but that desire will also push him to be the best. Doesn't he need that? Won't he be more likely to succeed? I mean, if I just lay down and say he can't because he has DS, aren't I just ensuring that he won't? No one ever got anywhere by giving up. Maybe there will be disappointments along the way, but I'd rather be disappointed from trying than from not. So, I am going to try to be less selfish, but, also...not.

As promised, here are some birthday pictures, and a few more from our week of fun!