Anywho, Auggy has been back in preschool for a couple weeks now, and it's been pretty great! We moved him to a morning, 5 days a week class, so he is definitely tired! But, he loves it. He's making some new friends, as am I. And Michael. Well, I'm pretty sure he thinks its his school, too. He loves crawling around, playing with the toys, the big kids, the mommies. He also loves circle time and the songs and the storybook. It is so good for him! Plus, he still goes to his baby group every week and has play time and circle time, too. And, we scaled back his home visits because he is kicking so much butt! I am so proud of that little bug! He will be walking soon, I'm sure of it!
One thing I love about Auggy's preschool is getting to see other parenting styles. I am so amazed at how some of the moms (and dads) are so patient with their kids, and get right down into it and play with them like they're a kid, too. I'd like to think if I didn't have Michael with me, I would, too...? But, really, I am jealous of the positive style that so many have. I need their advice! I mean, I really try positive discipline. We give Auggy tickets for different behavioral things (they are worth 10 cents and he's already bought 2 things with his earnings!), I give him choices when I need him to do something or to change a bad behavior, I give him a limit and a countdown to change his behavior before the limit is put into place. But, when you have a child that doesn't care what the consequence is, what do you do? He would rather lose a privilege than change his behavior! So, I don't give in, but, inevitably, I lose my patience! Probably once a day or every other day, I have a parenting fail. Lose my patience and yell, (even when I know it's ineffective, I do it anyway...duh!) and then I feel like crap for A. blowing it as a parent and B. hurting Auggy's feelings.
I have to figure it out, though, by the time Michael is old enough to be acting like this, because he will present a whole other challenge, and he certainly won't understand me losing my cool! I look at his sweet face now, and think, he could never be difficult! But, he will. He is a boy and he will become defiant. He already is getting to be a little stubborn! Protesting getting in the car seat or high chair. He thinks its funny to stiffen his legs and not sit down. I think it's cute that he thinks its so funny, but, at the same time I am amazed he has figured that out! Sometimes, I just think he doesn't seem so delayed! But, he doesn't talk yet, or walk yet, and he is still little, more babyish than toddlerish. But, I don't mind. I love my little cuddle bug!
Speaking of cuddles, ask anyone, Michael is THE BEST hugger I've ever met, in a baby! He actually wraps his arms around you and squeezes tight! Sometimes, he'll even do a shoulder pat! So cute! Sometimes when I'm feeling stressed out, or frazzled, I'll get one of those special Michael Bug squeezes, and it'll all melt away, leaving behind nothing but warmth!
People genuinely adore Michael. People are attracted to him, dote on him, think he's the cutest baby they've ever seen. I tend to agree! I just hope the positive vibes continue as he passes out of babyhood into another world more filled with judgement. I know there will be people who do judge him, but, I hope I can protect him from them, let him only feel the love. I want that for Auggy, too. I don't want him to see people as better, or worse, than he is. I want him to see differences, for sure, because that's what makes the world so interesting, is our differences. But, I want him to celebrate those differences, not separate himself from them. I want him to be open to everyone, so Michael can feel that openness, too. I have to watch myself around Auggy because he is so observant. He will know if I am judging. I don't want to judge. When I find myself doing it, I try to take myself out of the situation, and try to imagine that person as themself only and not the thing that I am seeing and judging. Everyone is special and unique, and can offer something, I just have to see it. The world does not revolve around me and my...whatever. I want Auggy to see that, too. I want Michael to see that, too. If we can remove ourselves from the drama of the moment, maybe then we can really see what's there. And if we can do that, then maybe we will be less likely to pass judgement on others, and just be open to all people and all situations. And if we can do that, our lives will be richer and fuller for it.
That is my personal goal right now. Try to be a better example for my boys. Try to be more patient, understanding, open.
Here are a couple cute pics from last week
Bath time buddies
Michael is starting to love the beach!
Melissa, don't be so hard on yourself. Parenting is a tough job and sometimes we all do something we didn't think was appropriate. Finding balance is essential. My grandsons are growing and developing in a loving home environment, have friends and family who care deeply about them. They will love you unconditionally and they will also know that both you and Dave are giving them the love and care they need each day.
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